Fulfilling sex nourishes love and rejuvenates the body, boosting both mental health and creativity, but sometimes life gets in the way. Trying to juggle work, money, relationships, fitness, sex, shopping and children cause many of us to lose touch with what is true and real. That’s where Tantra can help.

The spiritual science of Tantra was first taught in India more than 7000 years ago. Tan is a Sanskrit root which signifies expansion, and Tra signifies liberation. Thus, Tantra literally means expansion of energy. It is about bringing awareness and consciousness to all of one’s life experiences, and not just those in the bedroom.

Tantric Master Shantam Nityama, says the problem is that many people’s true sexual energy remains dormant. “From my perspective, sex is the caterpillar and spirit is the butterfly and there is absolutely no possibility of having a beautiful butterfly without having a healthy caterpillar.”  You may be surprised how many people feel starved for emotional connection, even when in a committed relationship.

The key is communication. Intimacy Guide Martina Hughes, encourages us to share our internal experiences with our partner. “Whether it be lovemaking, sharing a beautiful sunset, or receiving a gift, conveying what’s going on inside enhances mutual feelings of connectedness.”

A recent study revealed that those who had sex an average of four times a week looked and felt 10 years younger than those who had less sex, which shows that we can use sexual energy to achieve our potential. Tantra sex opens us to deeper experiences than regular sex, as a result of Tantra we can moves towards clarity of mind, an open heart, a healthy body and vibrant lifestyle. That in turn promotes self love and improves communication.

Total wellness is about listening to your body and being able to tap in to its needs and wants. Often disease and injury occurs in the body where we are not aware and tuned into our body. A lot of people these days are living in their heads, due to a world that is very focused on mental stimulation and the emphasis on mental intelligence. Through Tantric awareness, Hughes says we can learn to live more in the body. “It allows us to be more connected to what is happening internally and use our life force energy for healing.”

Learning to quiet the mind and becoming more aware of what messages are being given to the body can renew health.  The negative thoughts can be replaced with more life affirming messages for a more vital and alive body.

Wellbeing is the result of being open in the body, being free to feel movements of energy without judgement or resistance.  Hughes says suppressed feelings lead to suppression of life force energy. “Often people resist anger or sadness, in an attempt to only experience bliss and happiness.  It is impossible to experience expanded states of bliss and happiness if other feelings are being suppressed,” she says. “In order to experience the fullness of life, we must learn to say yes to all of life’s experiences and recognise feelings as they pass through our body.”

better relating equals better sex

Sacred love and Tantra is about being totally present for yourself and your beloved. In Tantra you take the focus away from having goals. Instead you are totally in the moment, whether that is a melting of your heart, the moment of entry, or the touch of your partner’s skin against your own.

By doing this you can learn how to prolong the act of making love and to channel, rather than dissipate, potent orgasmic energies moving through you, thereby raising the level of your consciousness. Tantra transports your sexuality from the plane of doing to the place of being.

Hughes says often people experience sex as a mind and genital experience, for example, thoughts arise in the mind, which leads to arousal in the genitals. “This type of sexual experience is largely focused on the desire for orgasm, which results in a rush of energy down the body and then a loss of energy afterwards.”

In Tantric experiences people learn to breathe and circulate the energy throughout the body so that the body becomes energised after sex.  There is no pressure to rush towards a peak orgasm and more focus on being in the moment and feeling the waves  of delicious and subtle sensations and orgasms, that move throughout the entire body.
There are simple breath and bodywork exercises which can be used to enhance the sexual experience. For example, massaging the breast stimulates the flow of energy present in the body, opens the woman’s heart area and increases vaginal lubrication in preparation for penetration.

Tantra Exercise:

Massage the breasts slowly and softly in an upward and circular motion. Also massage the sternum, the ribs and the spaces between the ribs. Pay particular attention to the point on the sternum which is in line with the nipples as this it he point which directly stimulates the heart, thymus and immune system.

Hughes says daily practise of this exercise and learning to breathe more deeply is one of the first steps an individual can take to becoming more aware. “Through breathing more deeply we open up to a deeper level of feeling.  In order to heal, one must be prepared to feel.” 

What many people don’t realise is that Tantric practises such as breathing and meditation can result in orgasmic states without sex. Everybody possesses a natural ability to transform lovemaking into a wholly satisfying and spiritually transcendent experience. All you need is useful information and practise.