A dozen or so dates down, and I started to wonder: What would it be like to date me? Would I be interesting enough to hold my own attention? Was I fun to be around? Would I find me attractive? And what could I do that would turn me off me? All these questions. How could I gain the answers (besides surveying every guy I’d dated)? I thought long and hard, before it dawned on me. I could date myself!

OK. I can hear you laughing. But taking yourself on a date isn’t as silly as it may sound. Dating yourself, as I discovered, is a very insightful experience. It allows you to see the person you have become, and make changes so you can return to who you really are at your core; the true you. The new and improved version, who always acts out of love. If you’re willing to go there, it can be a real eye-opener.

I decided to go all out on my first date and make a day of it. I cooked myself a scrumptious breakfast, reading the newspaper in the sunshine. A massage was followed by a picnic in the Botanic Gardens where I picked myself flowers. A movie later and I was eating dinner (and a very decadent dessert) in a trendy little café. Yes, on my own. As I headed home for a relaxing bath I told myself what a wonderful day I’d had, and how I’d love to do it again sometime.

OK. Now you’re really laughing. Either that, or you’re thinking it’s time for the straight jacket, right? No loony bin needed. That date made me appreciate who I am, and what I have to offer someone else in a relationship. It gave me time to reflect on all my positive attributes, and any not so great attributes. It gave me a real and honest awareness of what it was like to date me.

Once loaded with that information, I was able to make little changes to turn me into a more attractive person. Not just to guys, but to myself. You see, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. If you love yourself 100%, you’re going to win admirers. And plenty of them. People like to spend time with those who have self-love and self belief. Secretly, we hope some of it will rub off on us.

So, how do you date YOU? Easy. Think of something you love to do. Or even better, plan to do something you have never done before. Be adventurous. Think outside the box. Come on, get creative. Put the date in your diary, as you would a date with someone else. Make it a priority. This is about you putting yourself first. Giving yourself love. And don’t think that’s selfish.

Consider the last time you went up in a plane. Remember the safety check at the start of the flight? In the case of an emergency, you were probably told to put the air mask on yourself before helping anyone else. Why is that? Because you are no good to anyone else, unless you are breathing. Well the same goes for self-love. You cannot give love to anyone else, until you are giving love to yourself.

So you’re on your date. How’s it going for you? Are you enjoying yourself? Or are you bored out of your brain. If you’re bored, why is that? Is that something you need to work on? How could you make yourself more interesting? What would you need to change about yourself in order to be that inspiring passionate person you would love to date, who would keep you enthralled for the entirety of your time together, so much, that you’re lining up the next date, before this one’s even ended?

Are you convinced yet? If not, then ask yourself, what is stopping you from giving it a go? What puts you off spending time with you? Are you scared of what you might discover? Don’t be. Awareness is the first step. Once we know our improvement areas, we are able to make small adjustments to who we are. It is only those people who refuse to look at themselves, pimples and all, who fail themselves.

Your task this week: Take yourself on a date. That’s right. Plan something special for the most important person in your life: You! Don’t skimp on the trimmings. Go all out. Spoil yourself as you would a lover. Put in as much effort as you would, if you were trying to impress a first date. Be the dater and the datee, all rolled into one. It is only when you can date you, and truly love the experience, that you are able to really understand your own worth.

Not quite sure where to start? Click HERE to find out more.

It’s ironic how easy it is to notice other people’s beauty; their vibrant smile, pretty dress or the warmth they exude when they speak to you. Yet even think about showing ourselves that same admiration and more often than not, we turn and run. Many of us are blind to seeing our own attractiveness, whether it be voluptuous curves or a playful spirit.

So what creates this inability to see ourselves in the most flattering light? The answer is simple. A myriad of negative beliefs we take on as a child. Maybe someone close to you said you were ‘ugly’, or you would ‘never account to anything’. Too young to ignore such negative abuse, you took on those comments as fact. You believed all those nasty statements, no questions asked.

Before you knew it, you’d become your own worst critic. The insults and beat-up many of us tell ourselves on a daily basis, are worse than any external bullying someone else could inflict upon us. No one else will ever cut you down the way you will chastise yourself. Left to fester this unhealthy self-talk manifests in many ways.

Some people start eating obsessively as they unconsciously work towards proving their negative belief to be true, that they are indeed ‘fat and ugly’. Others might starve themselves or purge their food, never believing they are skinny enough to be considered as good looking. Or maybe you are one of those people who just doesn’t bother about your appearance, thinking ‘what’s the point?’

Treating your body as anything less than a temple is the first sign of some serious internal beat-up. Just think, if you loved yourself completely, you would never put a toxic substance in your body. It is your vehicle after all; with you for life. Why would you poison it with alcohol and foods full of sugar and preservatives? You wouldn’t.

As you can see, your internal dialogue sets the scene for how you see yourself in the world which directly affects your behaviours and actions. If you are constantly reaffirming your uselessness or fear, the brain responds just like a muscle that is trained regularly, by building an ever-stronger neural connection to that thought until it comes naturally.

We all have self-doubts and things we do not like about ourselves, but reaffirming them day in and day out benefits no one. Imagine if someone invented a little tape recorder that we could attach to our brain to record everything we tell ourselves – a digital recorder for our inner dialogue. What we would discover is that not even our worst enemies talk about us the way we talk about ourselves.

So how do we switch off Channel Negative? We unplug the negative belief at the root cause. We go straight back to the time where the negative wiring was installed and reprogram it. Working with a therapist who practices Time-Line Therapy can be extremely effective, or you can find a course that teaches you how to remove the beliefs yourself so you can become self-sufficient.

In the meantime though, there are a few ways you can loosen you grip on those negative voices:

1) Identify the negative belief (this is often the negative phrase you repeat to yourself, ie. ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘My legs are too fat’

2) Ask yourself: ‘What is the truth?’

3) Replace the negative belief with a positive belief

4) Reaffirm that positive belief throughout your day. Make it your mantra until it sticks.

Realise that all this negative mind chatter is not who you really are. You at your core, are a beautiful, capable and worthwhile being. Seeing your own beauty becomes possible when you start stripping back the layers of negative beliefs and dressing up in more elegant beliefs. Beliefs that compliment your figure, that give you room to enjoy being you; beliefs that allow you to see your own beauty.

Often the picture you see of yourself is very different to how others see you. While we may see others through rose coloured glasses, the reflection we see of our self is often tainted by our negative self-talk. We tend to focus on the traits we most dislike about ourselves, smothering ourselves in a blanket of put downs and criticisms. We judge ourselves in a way that creates insecurities about who we are.

Ridding ourselves of the self-doubt and self-hate frees us up to move through life unhindered by the shackles of negativity. We become more comfortable in being ourselves and see our differences as assets as opposed to flaws. When we start to like and then ultimately, love ourselves, it filters out into all areas of your life.

You walk into that job interview and because you are confident in your own skin, you have an air of confidence that wins you the role. You are so in love with yourself both mentally and physically that your interactions with others become healthier because you no longer care what anyone thinks of you. You know deep down that you are amazing. You see your own beauty as clear as filtered water.

If you consider that everyone’s reality is simply a reflection of what beliefs we hold, you soon realise the power you have in creating the life you want. Whether it’s your soulmate you’re looking for, a dream job that has your purse overflowing or ravishing health, the secret formula is the same: Clear out the negative beliefs so you can learn to love you, and see how your whole world changes.

The most important relationship you will ever have, is the relationship you have with YOU, so nurture it! Once you are able to love yourself unconditionally you will be able to see your own beauty. You will be able to appreciate all you idiosyncrasies and adore your uniqueness. As Grey Livingston once said: ‘Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye’.

Relationship expert Tamra Mercieca is the founder of Getting Naked Pty Ltd where she runs telecourses teaching you how to remove those limiting beliefs that stop you from seeing your own beauty. If you’d like to find out how to have a more positive relationship with you, visit: www.gettingnaked.com.au

Being in a toxic relationship can be likened to riding an emotional rollercoaster. Psychologist Dr Seth Meyers says the highs of an unhealthy partnership are very high, and the lows are very low. “On your bad days, you want to end the relationship and never see that person again.”

A toxic relationship is one in which you feel harmed in some way, either emotionally or physically. Your partner may be a good father, and at times, loving and kind to you, but if he drains, criticises or judges you, it could be time to re-evaluate the connection.

Dr. Lillian Glass, author of Toxic People, describes a toxic person as “anyone who manages to drag you down, make you feel angry, worn out, deflated, belittled or confused.” It may be difficult for people to admit they are in a toxic relationship, because they are intelligent, self-sufficient individuals in other aspects of their lives.

Not being true to yourself is another sign of being in a toxic relationship. Intimacy Guide Martina Hughes says people know if something doesn’t quite feel right. “There will be limited opportunity for real connection, growth and intimacy whilst people are limiting their true self expression.”

Often people compromise themselves in order to please or placate the other.  Hughes says it may be that instead of behaving as one would normally, they check in with what the other person will think. “This indicates that they are not moving in alignment with their own natural desires and inclinations for life.”

“The communication will be difficult and uneasy; there will be point scoring, ego stroking, lack of sexual compatibility, and disagreements about minor and major decisions,” Hughes says. Jealousy, anxiety, insecurity and emotional volatility are also common traits, as is using sex or money to manipulate the other person into doing something they may not want to do.

On the other hand, a healthy relationship is one based on shared values and dreams for the future. “You will experience compatibility when communicating, be able to stay present and available to each other during uncomfortable moments and the ability to learn and grow from the opportunities that arise as individuals and as a couple,” Hughes says.

You know you’re in a healthy relationship when one person is having a bad day, and the other person is able to comfort them in a way that does not compromise their own emotional happiness. There is nothing worse than one partner bringing home their work dramas and pulling the other person down in the process. It’s ok to have a little rant to release your anxieties once in the safety of your own home, but insisting the other person feel your pain, helps no one.

The dangers

Relationships play a massive part in our health and wellbeing. Giving and receiving love allows the happy chemicals in our brain to multiple. When this happens we feel full of life and are less likely to get sick. But if things aren’t travelling so smoothly, relationships can do more harm than good.

Staying in a toxic relationship can actually be dangerous for your health. Hughes says people may suffer from depression, sleeping or eating problems. “The stress in the body can also manifest in shoulder, neck and back pain, not to mention stomach or intestinal upsets.”

“If there is sexual incompatibility for a couple, women may suffer urinary tract infections or thrush, while men are prone to impotence or premature ejaculation. When there is sexual incompatibility this often leaks into other areas of the relationship as they feel unmet and dissatisfied with each other,” Hughes says.

Toxic relationships also take their toll on our emotional health. They can leave people feeling worn out and exhausted, unable to trust themselves or others, while lowering their self-confidence and ability to communicate freely with others. Once your own self-worth is on the decline, you are more prone to take on people’s judgments and criticisms, further weakening your own sense of self.

Putting on the life-jacket

Unless both parties are willing to make changes, there is little hope of healing a toxic relationship. The only person you can change is yourself and if you are not getting the positive support you need, you can ask for it and communicate how you are feeling but in the end you cannot expect your partner to change.

That said it is possible to detoxify the relationship and restore it to its original state of health and even eclipse it. But as Dr Meyer says, it requires a lot of work and a commitment from both partners to change. “Each person must recognise his or her own triggers for negative emotional reactions, avoid impulsive behaviors, and agree to step out of the situation if the other person becomes reactionary.”

Hughes says the key is to be honest with your partner. “Expressing one’s feelings needs to be free of demands and expectations and come simply from the place of sharing, understanding and mutual growth.  Often people try and manipulate the other into being a particular way in order to ease their own discomfort – this is not real relating.”

What you will find however, is that if you take responsibility for your own emotions and behaviours, you will feel more empowered. A person may say or do something inappropriate or unloving, but it is up to you to decide how you react, and how it effects your emotional state. You can only feel hurt from another’s nasty comments if there is a part of you (even just a tiny part) that believes those comments to be true.

Identifying what triggers off this kind of reaction gives you something to work with. It highlights your own insecurities so you can work through them. Once you are able to release the negativity you hold about yourself, you will no longer take on other’s criticisms. Their harsh words will simply bounce off you. Becoming bullet proof to other people’s razor sharp taunts is priceless for your own wellbeing.

Letting go

Ending relationships ranks pretty high on the ‘tough stuff’ list. It doesn’t matter if you were the one who walked away or if someone left you, a loss is felt either way. It takes a strong person to choose his or her own happiness and health above a relationship. If staying with your partner takes you out of integrity with yourself you are not treating yourself with respect.

If you’ve been unhappy for some time, you really need to ask yourself if the relationship is in your best interests. Meyers says you cannot romanticize the good times – or even the sex and your attraction to your partner. “You need to focus on the long term gain of leaving, as opposed to the short term hurt of leaving.”

Hughes says the best way to walk away, is to make a clean break. “Knowing that the relationship is not serving you, leave without any fuss or drama. Be honest and let the other person know that it is no longer working and you will not be continuing the connection.”

If it is a controlling relationship you are breaking free from, you will need to gather supporters who can help you feel safe and secure and reinforce your ability to take care of yourself. You will need a safe haven in case your partner resorts to threats or violence. The thing to remember is that you do have choices, and you can choose to leave the relationship.

The obstacles

Even when people do realise a relationship isn’t good for them, many people stay, for fear of hurting the other person, for fear of being alone, or for fear of not finding anyone better. But fear is no excuse for staying in a toxic relationship.

Meyers suggests facing the fear head-on. “You probably need to learn how to be alone and sit with the uncomfortable feelings until they pass.” It can also help to surround yourself with friends and family to give you strength during the transition time.

When I’m coaching my clients on relationships, I suggest they date themselves. Pour all the energy they would into the other person, into themselves. That might mean buying yourself a bunch of flowers, giving yourself compliments or planning a date night for you. Booking in for a massage or relaxing into a warm bath with candles are other ways that help nurture your soul.

Meyers says another reason people refuse to leave also has to do with a pathological identity. “They have come to see themselves as damaged or programmed to have bad relationships. If this is the case, they need to work through their negative beliefs, which is best done with the help of a therapist.”

Therapists who work with techniques that deal with the subconscious mind will help release this unwanted negativity from your life. Once it’s been thrown out with the trash, you will know you are worthy of attracting in a healthy relationship that is full of love, happiness and support.

Sure signs of a TOXIC relationship

• Your partner puts you down in private or in front of others
• Your partner doesn’t make the effort to talk to your friends or family
• Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with others
• Your partner does not trust you, ie. goes through your phone, reads your emails, checks up on you
• You cry often or feel depressed about the relationship
• You are dependant on your partner for your happiness
• Your friends don’t like your partner
• Your partner overrules you when making decisions
• Your self-esteem is lower since entering the relationship
• A relationship that is abusive either verbally or physically

Tamra Mercieca is a relationship/lifestyle expert and founder of Getting Naked Pty Ltd, running courses on how to strip back the layers in order to create success and happiness in all life areas. She is the author of ‘The Upside of Down: A personal journey and toolkit for overcoming depression’ and ‘Getting Naked – The Dating Game’.

www.gettingnaked.com.au

Consider your morning ritual. You wake to your clock radio firing off commercials on the latest skin care products designed to keep you looking youthful. You keep listening for the news and a company, promising to fatten your bank account, sponsors the stock report. Getting out of bed and into the shower you reach for your shampoo. Do you read past the camouflage and realise that the catchphrase on the container ‘The secret to shiny hair’, is nothing more than a marketing ploy?

You walk into the kitchen, and the cereal box says: ‘Fibre rich for a healthy bowel’. As you eat your breakfast you flick through a magazine, reading about the latest weight loss fad, only to turn the page and see an entire article dedicated to jeans, and which style will make your butt look sexier. Switch on the television and you’re only asking for trouble, with talk topics designed to sell products and make you think you need to spend money you don’t have, in order to be happy.

So many messages, and you haven’t even left the compound! Ever striving for a better life; be it more money, better looks or a new car, you visit your local bookstore and spend hours sifting through the countless self help titles: ‘How To Eliminate Guilt’, ‘Seven Ways To Break A Habit’, and ‘Mending A Broken Marriage’. So many books of supposed wisdom, which one do you pick?

Well, that depends. If you want to climb the corporate ladder, then maybe ‘The Quickest Road To Success’ would help. On the other hand, your lack of motivation could hold you back, so ‘Losing Procrastination’ could be more beneficial? So many messages and so many ways to get results. And why do we want results? Because we think they’ll make us happy. Right? Wrong.

What if there was only one way to achieve happiness? Would you believe me? Or would that be too easy? Could it be possible, that the enemy (you may call it society) has brainwashed us into believing we need university degrees, material objects and life experience to reach that place where happiness is forthcoming? Where the spring of happiness is free flowing, topping us up with our daily dose of happy pills?

What if being happy came down to just one life lesson? Or would that be too incomprehensible? To simplistic? Would you gawk at the idea of happiness being right at your fingertips? I’m not sure you’re ready to hear it, but if you can just open your mind to the possibility of it, I’m happy to share. Ready? Well here it is: In order to be happy, you need to fall in love with you. ‘Ha?’ I hear you say. ‘That’s silly. What would that do?’. Ok, I’ll explain.

Happiness comes from within. No amount of money or affection from other people will top you up with the unconditional love you need to feel happy. It is only when you are able to love yourself completely and fully, when you are able to shower upon yourself, the love you would extend to others, that you can enjoy real happiness; happiness that doesn’t come undone if a piece of shrapnel sneaks past your shield.

What I’m saying, is once you develop the relationship with yourself, to a point where you are able to love yourself unconditionally, you will experience happiness. The quality of our relationships with others, our jobs, even our finances, are simply a reflection of how healthy our relationship is with ourself. Go within, and repair the relationship with you, and it will filter out into every other area of your life.

Contrary to popular belief, life wasn’t meant to be hard, so why make it so? Love yourself, and you’ll love life. If you love life, you’ll be happy. If you’re happy, that happiness seeps into everything you do. When you’re operating from a place of happiness and passion you get the results you’re after, easily and effortlessly. It’s as simple as that. Really? Yes really.

Stop looking for all the answers in all the wrong base camps. You don’t need your own personal library of self-help books to get ahead. You have everything you need to achieve happiness right here, right now: You. So ask yourself: If I wanted to start loving myself, how would I do that? What would make me feel special? If I was going to date me, how would I spoil myself? What would I need to feel that unconditional love? And what would I need to let go of?

Spend some time working through those questions. Take action. That’s right. Once you’ve created the perfect holster for your sword, start sharpening the blade. Make it shiny. Make it radiate. So that when you step out into life you are full of love. Love after all, makes the world go round. We’ve heard it plenty of times before. And it’s no joke. Love yourself, and happiness is yours!

Tamra Mercieca is a relationship/lifestyle expert and founder of Getting Naked Pty Ltd, running courses on how to strip back the layers in order to create success and happiness in all life areas. She is the author of ‘The Upside of Down: A personal journey and toolkit for overcoming depression’ and ‘Getting Naked – The Dating Game’.

www.gettingnaked.com.au

The rise in popular television dance shows is undoubtedly helping to lift the profile of swing, but what is it about swing that is so infectious, that people keep coming back for more?

Instructor and performer, Andrew Fodor, says it’s a friendly and incredibly musical dance style, which is particularly easy for beginners to pick up. “Swing dancing was developed as a street dance and as such, has a relaxed, less structured style when compared to Ballroom or folk dances.”

Swing dancing actually refers to a group of dances that developed in the 1920s alongside the swing style of jazz. The dances range from traditional foot-stamping Lindy Hop to the body-hugging Balboa. But Fodor says don’t get confused by all the different names.

“Swing Dancing is an umbrella term for a variety of African-American dance styles. Swing had a revival in the 1980s and has been growing in popularity since. Lindy Hop is the most popular style of swing and is typically danced to swing, jazz or big-band,” Fodor explains.

Lets break it down:

Lindy Hop: Lindy Hop is the acrobatic dance that you’ve seen performed in the Gap commercials. The Lindy got its start in Harlem in the late 1920s, and features plenty of high-kicking Charleston steps, hopping and high-flying lifts, which were developed by dance legend Frankie Manning in the 1930s.

It is danced with an eight-count basic, meaning that patterns occur in series of eight steps, although six-count patterns crop up. Lindy performances often combine choreographed performances, improvised sequences, partner dancing, and the aerial steps for which it is perhaps most famous.

West Coast Swing: West Coast Swing is a six or eight-count dance where the man moves the woman in a straight line while he steps out of the way, instead of the circular patterns of the Lindy Hop. In other words, West Coast looks like a bullfight, while the Lindy looks like two sumo wrestlers facing off.

Jitterbug/East Coast Swing: While the jitterbug (also known as the East Coast Swing) is the first style people learn at those free lessons before dances, it’s not really a swing-era dance. You know the dance we’re talking about. It goes: “one-and-two, three-and-four, rock-step.” It’s often taught because it’s easier to grasp than Lindy Hop.

Balboa: This is an 8-count dance with a strong emphasis on partner connection and quick footwork. A product of Southern California’s crowded ballrooms, balboa is mostly danced in a closed embrace, and can be danced to a wide variety of tempos.

DC Hand Dancing: A cousin of the jitterbug, hand dancing was developed in Washington’s African American community in the 1950s and is still primarily danced by African Americans. Most patterns, including turns, are done while holding hands – hence the name. The turns are more elegant looking than its fast-paced relatives.

Social dancing is offered in most major cities now, with dance schools as crowded as the Roseland Ballroom was in the ’30s. Claudia Funder and Scott Cupit founded the Swing Patrol movement 12 years ago, after being disappointed by the lack of growth in the Australian swing scene.

“This whole thing just started with a genuine and breath-taking passion and love for the dance. We just wanted other people to dance with. We never dreamed Swing Patrol would become known as the largest swing school in the world”, says Funder.

Maybe it’s the high energy and youthful exuberance of the jumpin’ jivin’ style that’s attracting the younger folk. But at the end of the day, it’s all about interpretation. While the basic steps are the same, adding your own style and flare is key; and colourful facial expressions just adding to the fun.

Getting social

Newcomers to swing won’t be throwing their partners in the air at their first class. The flashy moves, while attainable through plenty of practice, don’t come straight away. And while you dance with a partner, you don’t have to bring one, with people rotating their way around the circle of dancers.

Funder says swing dancing is a great way to socialise. “Swing dancing is all about friendship and swing dancers tend to be a close knit group, enthusiastically welcoming newcomers to the sport. Dancing classes can be a great way to meet new people as you learn the moves in a friendly and supportive environment.”

It was the strong sense of community that drew Fodor to swing. “That, and the great friendships have kept me dancing for eleven years now.  And there’s always a chance you’ll meet someone swing dancing too!”

“There are so many stories of people meeting their boyfriend or girlfriend through swing dancing – I met my wife on the first night I started dancing in Melbourne! Because everyone rotates partners in class, you get to dance with everyone, so it’s a bit like speed dating to great music!”

Sweatin’ it out on the dance floor

A lively evening of swing dancing can get your heart rate up to aerobic levels and that means great benefits for your heart.  And because it’s so much fun, dancing is great for relieving stress. When you throw yourself into the swing moves, you can almost feel the stress melt away.

If you’re tired of using the treadmill as your weight loss tool, swing dancing offers a unique alternative to crowded gyms, burning around 260 calories per hour. When you consider that swing dancers often dance for several hours, this can result in some serious weight loss. Plus, you get to ditch your boring gym gear and dress up in flirty dresses and cute skirts as you spin around the room.

Looking the part

As the swing revival keeps rolling along, so are we seeing the return of classically flashy fashion, from zoot suits, high-waisted pants, gabardine shirts, paperboy hats and braces for men, to seamed stockings, flared skirt-dresses and flower accessories for women.

With authentic ‘40s and ‘50s threads becoming a little harder to come by in vintage clothing stores, due to the rising popularity of this elegant era, it’s no surprise that new swing kids are rifling through their grandparents’ closets in search of something to wear to their next social dance.

Many people question if they can actually be hypnotised. Well, if you’ve driven to work on auto-pilot, reaching your destination without any recollection of the drive there, or been completely enthralled in a romantic comedy or footy game on TV, then you’ve been in trance.

We are being hypnotised everyday by the news we hear on the radio, the advertisements we see on billboards, even playing a musical instrument can be a hypnotic experience. Deep absorption in the task at hand and losing track of the time are both indications of hypnosis.

What is hypnosis.. really?

Hypnosis is often defined as an altered state of consciousness where people become more suggestible. According to Dr. Gerard Sunnen of the New York University School of Medicine: “ Hypnosis is the most potent non pharmacological relaxing agent known to science.” He will prescribe hypnosis before prescribing a tranquilliser.

Melbourne Clinical Hypnotist, Dr. Bruce Alexander agrees, that hypnosis is one of the most powerful tools, when it comes to results-based therapy. “I am frequently told by clients that they have achieved more in a few sessions with me than months or sometimes years with a their counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist.”

What would you see a hypnotist for? Most things actually.

There are many ways people can use hypnosis to enhance their lives, from conquering stage fright and losing weight, to quitting smoking or getting rid of annoying habits and phobias. Hypnosis can go with you to school, to work, to the playing field, even to the bedroom. Yes, hypnotic suggestions can even improve your sex life!

You can erase ugly habits with hypnosis or use it to stay calm during stressful situations at work. Even when it comes to study, hypnosis can help you learn, retain and recall new information. Hypnosis makes it easy to change your behaviours so you are able to achieve your goals.

A scientific study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology  found that the addition of hypnosis had a significant and substantial effect on the outcome for weight reduction, and increased over time. Therefore it was especially useful for long-term maintenance of weight loss.

Alexander says he now sees more people for alcohol reduction, than for quitting smoking. “I also see many people for anxiety, self-confidence, fear of public speaking, blushing, gambling addiction, insomnia, fear of flying and other phobias. Even people with sexual issues such as impotence, premature ejaculation and vaginismus gain benefits from hypnosis.”

What to expect..

While it’s a serious therapeutic technique, hypnosis is a pleasant, calming experience that has the ability to transform your life. During a session, a health professional suggests that you experience particular changes in your ideas and future actions. These are called hypnotic suggestions.

Generally the client will not speak, so there is no concern with letting any dark secrets slip out into the public domain. The hypnotist introduces new ideas, which are absorbed by your unconscious mind and become part of your thinking. This state of trance is able to quieten the conscious mind, which likes to analyse and criticise, judge and reject information.

The depth of the trance will depend on the individual. 15 – 20 percent of the population could swap anaesthetic during surgery for the sound of a hypnotherapist’s voice. But at the other end of the scale, 15 – 20 percent will only be able to use hypnosis for removing a bad habit.

A willingness to want to make changes in your life is necessary. If, for example, your partner thinks you should quit smoking, but you don’t want to give up the ciggies, chances are, hypnotism won’t work. The therapist is simply nudging someone to make changes, using suggestions.

How quickly will I see results?

Alexander explains that in hypnosis the Acronym PREM is used, which stands for Positive, Repetitive, Ego-Strengthening and Motivating. “As a general rule, the more frequently a suggestion is repeated, the more likely it will be accepted. The results vary widely, depending on how suggestible a person is.”

Some people can gain all they need from just one session, but Alexander says usually three or so sessions are necessary to get the results they’re seeking. “Hypnosis is a bit like advertising; you don’t just see one advertisement on TV and decide to purchase a product. Repetition helps a lot in hypnotherapy.”

The workings of the human mind

Have you ever noticed, that what you pay attention to, you always find more of? That is why our beliefs become our reality. It’s like tunnel vision. Nothing in itself has meaning until the human brain gives it meaning. Therefore, our pre existing beliefs shape out interpretation of a situation.

Hypnosis works by bypassing the beliefs, giving the client permission to consider new and healthier alternative frames of mind. It allows a person to replace a limiting belief that is holding them back, with a new, more helpful belief. This in turn, changes a person’s thoughts, emotions and behaviours.

Giving new meaning to an old situation could be as simple as developing a strong desire to exercise, or fall asleep easily. Hypnosis can get you to believe that Brussels sprouts are delicious if you really want to!

Essentially, hypnosis helps a person take a negative past memory and reframe it into a learning, so they get a new set of resources. Putting a positive spin on the painful memory, takes the issues from the unconscious mind, bringing them to the conscious mind. Awareness afterall, is the first step to change.

Getting to the root cause

Overcoming a concern often involves uncovering the underlying issue. Alexander says addictions such as smoking, gambling, alcohol and drugs are usually just a mask for stress. “Once you can eliminate the stress or help the client find a way to manage it, there is no longer a need for the unhealthy behaviour or addiction.”

“Stress is often brought on by a fear of judgment, criticism or rejection. People who are sensitive to other’s opinions tend to experience higher levels of stress and anxiety. I use hypnotherapy to help them become more resilient, and in doing so, reduce a lot of the stress they usually feel from social interactions.”

The myths

Contrary to popular belief, it is not necessary to be relaxed during hypnosis. Hypnosis is not meditation, psychotherapy, relaxation or sleep. While hypnosis is the Greek word for sleep, it is quite different. In sleep, you drift off, whereas during hypnosis you are alert and interested in the mental adventure you’re having.

Hypnosis is completely safe. If a suggestion goes against your value system, then you will reject it. Your unconscious mind will not permit the acceptance of suggestions that are dangerous, so you will not rob a bank if you believe that to be morally wrong, no matter what the suggestions used during hypnosis.

Psychotherapist, Dr. Roberta Temes says you will not get stuck in a trance or embarrass yourself while under the spell of a cruel master. “You are in complete control of opening your eyes and returning to your normal state at anytime. You’re not sleeping. You’re conscious of everything around you.”

The original mind body medicine

All communication invites the receiver into a hypnotic trance. Any good storyteller can draw us out of the present and into a world constructed in our mind. Given that our thoughts create our reality, it makes sense, to use our mind as a playground, in which we create our desired future.

FINDING A HYPNOTHERAPIST:  Many therapists these days are using hypnotherapy as part of their practise to gain faster results with clients. Simply ask your psychologist, physician, life coach or nurse if they are in fact qualified in hypnotherapy, or visit a hypnotherapy specialist.

Firstly, let’s get clear on what intuition is: gut hunches, sudden flashes of insight, powerful feelings, an undeniable knowing, subtle or electric physical sensations that run through your body, telling you that something is or isn’t right, even though your rationale may suggest otherwise. What it is not: intellectual mind crunching, crystal-ball gazing, or something utterly mysterious.

Intuition is your gut instinct or that time you walked into a room and thought ‘you could cut the atmosphere with a knife’ despite having no factual information to back up that thought. When used correctly it is your most accurate inner radar system, continually scanning your inner and outer environments, sending back messages.

It’s when you think of your friend and then she calls, randomly out of the blue. Intuition is that fluttering feeling in your belly, telling you not to walk down that street, or a blushing sense of pulsing familiarity when you meet someone new. When you get a subtle feeling that you shouldn’t buy that house – that is your intuition at work.

Medical Intuitive Carmel Bell says intuition is using something other than research, hard knowledge or science, to tell us how to act or react. “It is like a parent of a teenager who will hint and suggest lightly, hoping that the teen will pick up on the clue.”

inner guidance

Believe it or not, everyone is intuitive. Your intuition is a completely natural sense, just like your sight and hearing. If you repress or ignore it, it’s like you’re getting around with blinkers on. Your intuition is there to help and guide you to make the right decisions.

Nearly everyone has at some point in their life, felt compelled to do something for a reason they couldn’t quite define, that turned out to be a smart move. Maybe you just got a bad feeling about someone without knowing why, only to find out later that they’ve got a bad temper.

Transformational therapist and astrologer to the stars, Teymara Antonio-Wright, says our intuition is with us all the time. “Learn to trust your initial feelings. After you do this for a period of time it will become second nature. You must remember though, that it doesn’t make sense.”

“Some of my New York clients had a bad feeling about going to work at the World Trade Centre on that fatal day September 11. Many decided to do something on their way to work, while others took the day off. All had worked with me often enough and learnt to totally trust their feelings,” says Antonio-Wright.

Unfortunately intuitive ignorance is epidemic as most of us are raised in a society that does not encourage or support this sixth sense. We all have this inner guidance system, we just need to trust it until it becomes a skill. Just as animals have a natural survival instinct, so too are humans born with the natural ability to be intuitive; your human instinct.

more than just a whim

Historically, scientists have ridiculed the concept of intuition, but according to a new Leeds University study, intuition is more than just a hunch. Professor Gerard Hodgkinson says intuition is the result of the way our brains store, process and retrieve information on a subconscious level.

Everyone has this powerful ‘inner software’ that is able to scan, assess, make sense of and obtain the ‘bottom line’ of any situation, issue or condition you may be facing! However, most of us are walking around with this valuable ‘software’ intact, with no clue on how to use it. Discovering that innate ability can be similar to rediscovering lost information, clarifying unknown or predicting outcomes.

Your intuition can and should be used for just about anything – whether it be politics, choosing the right new car to wading through the dating pool or deciding whether or not to gulp down that high fibre vegan chocolate cupcake!

What you are actually picking up are the subtle vibrations and energies that everything emits. After a while, using your antennae will become second nature. It’s up to you to decide whether you ignore it, acknowledge it in passing, or expand its range of power.

adjusting the antennae

Problems arise when we lose our ability to sense what is right for us and what is not; when we usurp our own knowing in favour of an external rule or law or method. Unfortunately much of this world rides high on rationality, reason and concrete examples and proof, instead of our own intuitive hunches.

So many people stick with something, whether it be a gym class or a new eating regime, because logically it should work, or after hearing a celebrity endorsement. Buddha said, “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

Sera Beak, a Harvard-trained scholar of comparative world religions now studies spirituality, and says your intuition wants to help you grow. “The divine will never lead you over a cliff without providing a trampoline down below, even if it appears, from your current vantage point, like stone-cold cement.”

To help you develop your antennae to the more subtle frequencies, try this exercise:

Next time you’re heading out, stop and take a minute to calm your mind, focus on your breath, and relax your body. Then, once you come into contact with other people, shift your attention away form your basic sensory input, like how someone looks or smells, and pay attention to how a person resonates with you. How do they make you feel on a deeper level, physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically?

Notice how your body responds. Take note of what you’re sensing, even if you think you’re just imagining it, even if you think you brain is just playing around. Don’t try too hard with this exercise, just have fun with it. You might be surprised when you come back to it later, how spot on you were.

Or get out a pack of cards and try this exercise:

Shuffle the cards, leaving them face down. Pick up the first card and use your intuition to feel if it is red or black. Turn it over. If you got it right, put it into one pile, while putting the wrong ones in another pile. Go through the deck that way. Keep practicing until you are regularly getting at least 90 percent correct.

Paying attention to signs, interpreting your dreams, and becoming more in touch with your own needs and wants through meditation, will all help you become more intuitive. You can do intuitive experimenting anywhere with anyone or anything – from picking out running shoes to deciding whether to go out or not. Yes, it’s that kind of tool. No limits, no restrictions.

Beak says if you try these exercises and you’re still struggling, don’t worry, your intuition is not broken! “Your intuition is like a muscle; it takes time to develop, and in many cases, our intuition has been buried under so many thick layers of logic and doubt and misinformation that the muscle might take a little coaxing to make itself known.”

tune in to your sixth sense

You don’t have to do anything unnatural to be intuitive. In fact, many people realise that they followed their intuition only after the fact. They felt like turning right instead of left. They didn’t stop in the middle of the road and interrupt the natural flow with questions. Once you start to allow your intuition to guide you, and you see how correct it is, you will begin to trust it more, and therefore act on it with more certainty.

So, shut off your logical brain, and start to trust your gut!

Albert Einstein stated, “The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, and the solution comes to you and you don’t know how or why.”

Dancer and personal trainer Staci Haffner says making eye contact allows you to let another person in and form an intimate bond. “A mutual gaze has the power to narrow the physical gap between humans. That’s why it’s hard to lie to someone when you’re looking directly into their eyes.”

Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. If you’re arguing, for example, it is seen as strong to hold someone’s gaze. If you are deferring to someone it is better to lower your gaze. When it comes to showing love to a special someone, staring into the pool of their eyes will portray your true feelings.

Crisp says we can read our partner’s eyes to add depth to our understanding of the spoken word. “Emotional closeness is often matched with frequent and lengthy eye contact in romantic relationships, while a lack of eye contact may unconsciously signal that one person is emotionally withdrawing.”

The one part of eye contact that we have no control over is the size of our pupils. Eckhard Hess, as the head of the Psychology Department at the University of Chicago found in 1975 that the pupil gets bigger when we’re interested in the person we’re talking to or the subject they’re talking about.

We can test this next time we’re spending time with a friend. Simply notice your friend’s pupil size when you’re talking about something interesting, then change the subject to accounting, and watch their pupils contract.

mesmorise the object of your desire

One of the first signs that someone is interested is eye contact. You’ll often see flirting masters make eye contact with the object of their desire, hold their gaze for a couple of seconds, then shyly look away, only to follow it up with another look and a warm smile.

This happens before any conversation is exchanged and can be done from across the room of a busy pub or as you walk by someone in the street. Haffner says it will usually be enough to entice that person to come over and start a conversation. “Sustained eye contact engages a person, sparking curiosity, while drawing them in. It’s a key ingredient in shaping your social skills.”

But learning good eye contact skills will do more than simply get you a date. Good sales people, politicians and public speakers all understand how to use eye contact to their advantage:

The job interview: This skill is especially important when you want to sell yourself to a potential employer. No eye contact can give the impression that you lack confidence or are hiding something, while maintaining the interviewer’s stare shows you are genuine and believe in your own abilities. Because it helps build rapport, it will greaten your chances of being hired.

Public Speaking: Communications expert Robert Graham says when speaking to a group as a whole, imagine you are having individual conversations with one person in the group at a time. “You will make your listeners feel more connected and that will make you feel more comfortable speaking to groups of people.”

Studying: Recent studies suggest that eye contact has a positive impact on the retention and recall of information and may promote more efficient learning. Matt Catling, Founder of Peak Performance Psychology, says 70% of people are visual. “When you look at someone in the eyes it induces trance, which puts them into the learning state where they absorb more information.”

Sales: Staci Haffner says salespeople all over the world keep potential buyers interested by using rapport-building techniques like eye contact. “Whether you’re selling a car or a nice dress, a person is more likely to do business with you if you engage them through your eyes. When an object arouses a person their pupils dilate, which is a big cue for sales staff.”

cultural differences

There are different, unspoken rules about how much eye contact is enough, and how much is too much. Simon Crisp says in Western culture a direct gaze can be interpreted as being shifty-eyed. “Indigenous Australians similarly view a direct gaze as disrespectful or threatening.”

Most North Americans like to have eye contact with the person they’re talking to, while African Americans and Native Americans don’t. If you’re unsure how much eye contact to make, follow the lead of the person you are having a conversation with.

Even between humans and non-humans, persistent eye contact is sometimes unadvisable: the New Zealand Medical Journal reported that one reason so many young children fall victim to attacks by pet dogs is their over-powering regular eye contact with pets, which causes them to feel threatened and defensive.

practise makes perfect

Take the time to make deliberate eye contact with people you like, until it becomes a habit. Try it in a shop, on the bus or anywhere where you meet strangers. Hold the other person’s gaze with a nice smile and watch the reaction. You might just be surprised!

You can even use the television for practice, by making eye contact with people on the screen. News bulletins, where the presenter looks directly at, and talks, right to you, tend to be the best. Making eye contact changes the way you approach people, so step out of your own mental landscape and face the gaze head on.

So what is anger? It is an emotionally triggered reaction to a situation or event and comes in three different forms: passive, aggressive and constructive. Some people bottle it up and feel bad inside, many let it out in ways that are destructive to themselves and those around them, while others are able to use the anger to make improvements in their life.

Clinical Psychologist Simon Crisp says your body will usually tell you when you are angry. “The emotion manifests itself in physiological changes such as increased respiration and heart rate, muscle tension, sweating and flushing of the skin. It can also reduce peripheral vision, and the processing of auditory language.”

He says people experience anger in different ways. “Some may experience a physical sensation, others more perceptual distortions, while some may only report changes in how they think when they’re angry.” That said, anger only becomes a problem when it is making you unhappy.

a place for anger

Anger doesn’t have to dictate our behaviour, it can be used to create positive changes. The raw emotion itself is powerful and clarifying as long as we choose to express it in a constructive way. When used with discipline and compassion, anger is the warrior’s sword that can cut away that which is putrid and unhealthy.

In her book The Dance of Anger, Psychologist Harriet G. Lerner, says “Our anger may tell us that we are not addressing an important emotional issue, or that too much of our self is being compromised in a relationship. Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self.”

Crisp agrees that there is a place for anger. “It aids survival by preparing us to deal with a potential threat. It can also draw our attention to important issues that need our attention. Keeping control of anger can allow us to express our needs or concerns constructively and assertively, facilitating clear communication, and effective problem-solving.”

uncover the cause of your anger

Master Success Coach Julie Ashton admits it’s not always easy to find the true trigger of someone’s anger. “The best way to find the cause of the emotion, is to identify the reflection within yourself that deals with how and when you do the same thing. Take some time out to really analyse what has ticked you off. ”

Crisp says learning to quickly identify the signs that you are getting angry will help make the emotion more manageable. “It’s all about becoming familiar with what things make you angry. Learning how to identify when we are angry and what makes us so, is a most valuable life skill.”

Identify the triggers: Take note of the people, situations or personal states that tend to trigger your angry episodes. Are there certain people that anger you? Are you more prone to anger when you are tired?

Note the physical cues: Watch for the physical signs that suggest you are losing your cool, eg. Tightness around the chest, general muscular tension, a change in your breathing, shaking, etc.

Observe your behaviour: Take note of how you behave when you are getting uptight. Passive hostility shows itself in sarcasm, being silent, impatience, while aggressive  hostility can be expressed through verbal attacks and physical violence. You may also overreact, hold resentments and seek revenge.

Just keep in mind that when you increase emotion you decrease intelligence – so your rational thinking and problem solving skills won’t be as strong.

express your anger

We can liken our emotions to a beach ball. When it’s pushed down into a pool, the longer it is held down, and further beneath the water it is being held, the bigger the explosive splash once it’s let go and bursts through the surface of the water. It’s the same with emotions.

The longer they are suppressed the bigger the splash when they eventually catch up with us. Anger needs to be dealt with otherwise it lead to nervous breakdowns and disease. It is better to cry and release pent up anger, than it is to push it down, and allow it to wreak havoc on the body.

Physical exertion can help clear your head of anger, or at least get you to a state where it is more manageable. Ashton says bottling it up only causes pain in the long-term. “Cry, scream, exercise, laugh; do whatever you need to do to allow the anger to flow out of your body.”

She says there is no point in trying to control anger. “You can only acknowledge that it is there and work out a constructive way to deal with it. The worst thing you can do is suppress anger as it can turn inwards leaving you unhappy.”

Crisp says creative expression can be another way of unravelling what can feel like a confusing angry mess. “Art, music, dance or simply plain exercise or sport can help a person work through their anger.”

Crisp says the way we decide to let off steam is vitally important to our health. “Some people turn to alcohol or other drug use to numb the emotion, which unfortunately can quickly lead to losing all control over it. Bottled up anger leads to violence or other destructive behaviour or self-critical thinking.”
If you are angry at another person, it is important to express those feelings assertively and not aggressively. Try using ‘I statements’ such as: ‘I feel angry because …..’ If you get angry at a situation such as your computer shutting down, it’s okay to yell at the machine. It won’t hurt anyone’s feelings, but destroying the keyboard will (maybe not its feelings, but certainly its functioning).

Ways to dampen anger

• Stop, take yourself out of the situation and ask yourself ‘If this was a movie, what would I see?’ In other words, practise detachment.
• To reduce the physiological effects that anger can invoke, practise positive self-talk, muscle relaxation or deep breathing, or simply remove yourself from the place or situation that is triggering the emotion.

The liver is our second largest organ (only the skin is bigger) and therefore one of the most important. If the body was an automobile, the liver would be considered its engine. It does hundreds things to make sure it runs smoothly, playing a vital role in regulating fat, balancing our hormones, digestion and circulation.

But Medical herbalist Dominique Finney says the liver’s main job is to get rid of foreign substances. “Anything that enters the blood stream is filtered through the liver to ensure that quality nutrients go to the organs, while any excess is removed.” It is like a sharp-eyed bouncer guarding the red velvet rope in front of an exclusive nightclub called Your Body: it makes sure the right elements get in and the wrong ones thrown out.

Acupuncturist Adam Davidson says from a Chinese medicine perspective, the liver controls the flow of qi (energy flow) through the body. “It also ‘rules’ the tendons, stores the blood which nourishes the eyes and nails. The liver also influences our digestion and menstruation.”

blocked liver

Going out on a bender may be fun at the time, but it will make your liver have to work double as hard. All the alcohol, processed foods and toxic chemical residue we’re exposed to, get caught in the liver. Too much, and our liver starts to resemble a dirty wet sponge, that needs to be wrung out.

Finney says when the liver becomes overworked or too congested it will not filter blood optimally. “It can become blocked, fatty or even bloated. The liver will then contribute to high cholesterol and lowered synthesis of nutrients and new cells, compromising your health.” This is why many alcoholics have liver failure.

The liver is about the size of a football and can be found behind the ribs in the upper right-hand part of the abdomen. We can only survive one or two days if it shuts down. That said, the liver can function even when up to 75 percent of it is diseased, as it has the amazing ability to create new liver tissue.

Over two-thousand Australians die from liver diseases each year. Given that liver disease is preventable, this number is way to high. The first signs of a struggling liver, are headaches, fatigue, depression, poor concentration, mood swings, allergies, rashes, red itchy eyes, food sensitivities, sore and stiff sides or even a bitter taste in the mouth.

to detox or not to detox

Dietitian Emilie Isles doesn’t encourage detox plans at all because the liver is working continuously to detoxify the body. “You’re much better off improving everyday eating habits to boost liver function instead of paying for expensive, gimmicky plans or following highly restrictive diets. We need to get back in touch with real food solutions and ensure we understand what nutrients we need.”

To ensure a natural detox, Isles recommends keeping your diet relatively low in fat, consuming five serves of vegetables and two serves of fruit per day and keeping alcohol to a minimum. Davidson agrees. “I’m not a fan of detoxing, unless it’s a severe case, and only under supervision of a qualified practitioner.”

Finney urges us not to get confused by the masses of information out there. “Detoxing is a natural bodily process that occurs every night when you sleep, each time you are sick. You need nothing to detox properly except yourself, some pure fresh water, a place to rest peacefully and some silence.”

mental liver cleanse

The liver is the seat of our emotions according to ancient wisdom, Chinese medicine, and even cutting edge medical systems. Authors like Louise Hay (Heal Your Body) point to our ability to heal our body through our thoughts. Thanks to modern science we now know what thoughts are behind which physical ailments.

Davidson says particular organs are directly related to certain emotions. “When we become unbalanced, the liver for example, can lead to anger and frustration.” While anger is a natural emotion, often our thoughts about anger are not. When we’re talking about the liver, we’re talking about anger and anger-thoughts.

Anger triggers the stress response, releasing specific hormones, which can weaken the liver and immune system. Many grumpy people will have a toxic liver. Often restoring proper liver function, is more about changing your thoughts – using certain techniques to reprogram negative thinking patterns.

give the liver a helping hand

While the key to a healthy liver is maintaining harmony and balance, Davison says there are some foods and supplements that will help the liver along. “Ginger, most dark green leafy vegetables, beetroot and mint will all help the free flow of our qi. The most common traditional Chinese medicine herbal formula for liver ailments is called Xiao Yao San, and can be made by a qualified practitioner or bought in pill form.”

Give these a try:

Dandelion tea: Swap your morning coffee for a cup a dandelion tea. Dandelion has been used for centuries by herbalists as a general detox, cleansing the liver while boosting kidney function. It works as a blood purifier and antioxidant and is recommended for anyone with liver complaints.

Milk Thistle: is one of the best known herbs for supporting the liver and treating liver disease. It contains an antioxidant that acts as a toxin blocker while contributing to the reversal of fatty liver. Milk thistly is what makes the white of your eyes white again.

Dominique Finney says milk thistle can be taken daily over an extended period of time to gradually repair the liver. “For those who like their alcohol, take 5-10mg of milk thistle extract mixed with water before going to bed after a big night on the town.”

Black walnut: gets in on a cellular level and sneaks up on parasites, toxins and nasty cancers helping to eliminate them from your system. Finney says this herb can be taken in therapeutic doses for about thirty days before you need to give it a rest.

Lemons: are the number one fruit for cleansing your entire body. They cleanse not only the liver, but also the gallbladder, kidneys, digestive tract and lungs.

Beetroot juice: contains a chemical called betaine that stimulates the liver cells and protects the liver and bile ducts.

Carrots: are high in beta carotene and are the premium liver cleansing food. They helps regulate blood sugar levels, while reducing inflammation in the whole body and are a good energy food to increase stamina. Carrot juice is an excellent liver food as it helps the detoxification pathways operate better.

Garlic: helps strengthen and cleanse the blood, while giving the liver and kidneys a good spring clean that will increase your energy.

Get plenty of sleep, have infrared saunas, indulge in lymphatic massages, but most importantly, drink copious amounts of filtered water. Water is vital for the elimination process, keeping the body clean and detoxified. It literally flushes out all the toxins your body stores from any bad foods you eat.